Change & Progress.

I've just been told that I won't be seeing my dad very often anymore, due to his work.

In addition, my aunt, who has been with the family for a few years, will be moving to her old home for good due to family matters.

I'm about to be left with half the number of family members living under one roof as compared to last year. This must be what it feels like.

Father's Day had just came and gone, and it seems like Dad got what he wanted... but I'm not sure about us. But hey, it's Father's Day, so it's about damn time some good news came for him.

.....so why can't this wrong mind be take complete joy in it?

Of Flowers and .....Fumbling

First a gay club and now a gay bar. Well.... supposedly. Named after a flower, the Frangipani certainly lived up to its name, in my opinion. Pretty place, pretty people, pretty hectic.
There isn't much to say, cause there wasn't much I did, as much as I wanted to do a lot.
I tried to dance. I drank a little. I kinda felt like a spoilsport, doing most of the things halfway. My friend introduced me to a few of his. But the music was so loud I could barely talk to them. They seemed to do fine, though.

I...am at a loss on what to describe.

Sigh.... what I'm doing? This wrong mind clearly did not think it all through.

Factoring

I remember about a year ago, I watched a documentary of sorts. It was called The Butch Factor. I should highlight now that the subject of homosexuality and the subjects that extend from there greatly interest me. Naturally, this was a film that talks about the subject and the stereotyping that comes with it. We stereotype. As much as we claim that we don'tm we do it without realising it. When you're fine with it, it's called categorisation, segregation or whatever. When you're not, you call it racism, discrimination, etc. Back to the point. The Butch Factor is a film on gay stereotyping, with a focus on masculinity. I think it sums up the subcultures in our minority community well enough.

This year, however, I stumbled on to what might as well be the sequel to The Butch Factor. Also by Mr. Christopher Hines, is another film obsessed with the subcultures of the gay community. The Adonis Factor, however, is obsessed on gay obsessions, with image, that is. I like the film. I think those who don't already have a grasp on what kind of similarities and disparities among gay people and are too lazy to read about it (and wouldn't mind watching some attractive men on screen) should give these 2 films a go.

And if you're incidentally still reading my boring crap, here's the link to the latter film with a description: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DELVGQ4K
Gay men and their pursuit of physical perfection.
Chiseled bodies, flawless skin, sculpted jawlines. At a time when popular culture objectifies men more than ever, it’s hard for them to avoid the pressure to possess such physical traits. In his follow-up to The Butch Factor, director Christopher Hines exposes how far some will go to attain The Adonis Factor – the kind of god-like masculine beauty only seen in ancient Greek sculptures.: Christopher Hines takes viewers on an eye-opening journey through circuit parties, gay porn, and avant-garde fashion photo shoots, all of which promote their own kinds of idealized physiques. By capturing a diverse range of voices — from those who dedicate their lives to the pursuit of mainstream male beauty, to those who openly spurn it — The Adonis Factor ultimately poses the question: does a man’s fixation on body image make him any happier?

This little piggy's going to the Market(Place)

I've never been the clubbing type. I can count the number of visits I've made over the past 10 years with my 2 hands.

However, I've chosen, yet again, to defy my instincts and give it yet another try. Some people say that each experience you have in life is always uniquely different from another's. Let's hope this will be a pleasant one for me.

As luck would have it, I've a friend to whom I recently came out to, and he's been egging me to go with him to the MarketPlace. Yes. The MarketPlace. Jeez, the number of lines and puns I have for this place... waitaminute, I think I'll just make a post out of all the lines I know!

For one, this is one unique meat Market that's pretty popular around town. Apparently, it serves a great deal of beef. And cake. Note that don't mean it in a literal sense, and that the two are not mutually exclusive.

This Place, it Markets itself primarily for dining, with drinking on the side, but those who patronize the place frequently know better. Incidentally, if you don't know yet, the meat Market I just spoke of is a black Market of sorts. Not that it Markets black meat, mind you, although that would be a wildly delicious Place. This happens to be the case because the nation it belongs to has no tolerance for such Markets, officially speaking. Therefore, it relies on underground Marketing to thrive on, i.e. word-of-mouth, contacts, etc.

Personally, I like my Markets the way they are, dirty, smelly, and rich with ingredients. The culinary sort. Although it's been a fantasy for me to Market myself in this Place, I have a grave feeling that I will not like facing that reality, and then I will have no Place to put my face.

Overall, I think we all yearn to find our own Place in this world, and part of us think that we can buy it off a Market. Perhaps, this is why we find ourselves mingling, hustling, grinding and heaving our way through this Market, hoping to satiate our hunger through a delicious one night course. Hoping, that we will no longer feel out of Place.

This wrong mind has fabricated its own Place, and knows that leaving it will be inevitable. It doesn't make the process any less undesirable.

ROCKOUT WITH YOUR ....

You can finish the title. you know you want to.

I was deprived of my regular screaming sessions for months before my exam. Finally, I get one today! With a couple of good friends, whom are very much into the singkeh scene, and the rock scene, I screamed my lungs out! Got a little sore in the throat, but I never lose my voice, so I'm not too worried. No oral sex though. :D

The awesome rockout was followed by a 3 hour yumcha session. It was good catching up with old friends. I was reminded of how much of a geek I was in the past. Still am. We got to talking about games, tech, hardware, etc. It kept going till we forgot about the time. Before I knew it, it was 5pm and we had to leave. Now it's past dinner eating dad's weird...salty-sweet variant of yee mee. I'm chilling with a nice episode from Bones and blogging about the whole laid back weekend experience.

Ah, I've missed this. Not sure if I want to start dating again. It's such a.....confusing experience.

Standard, or Double?

Just a thought, I had a few friends talking to me about relationships today. The topic generally covered sex and relationship, but what struck me was the similarities between two conversations.

One friend, A, is in a budding relationship. His counterpart was asking to take a step further in the relationship i.e. jumping A's bones, but A is holding off, because he's thinking of starting a serious relationship.

B, another friend, also in a budding relationship, is on his XX'th date with a person he likes, but this time, they've made it official that they're in a relationship, i.e. they're going exclusive....but, they've not slept together

The thing is, A & B both wouldn't even hesitate to go for a quick hook up (not with each other, mind you, you wild minds). BUT, sex is a no-no if they... are 'serious'.

How is it that sex is okay if you're not coupling up, but locked in a sanctimonious chastity vault when you think you've found the love of your life? That's just it. It's a double standard.

The main difference, as A & B would explain, is the emotional connection. There's a great deal of subjectivity to the term, as there was a great deal of subjectivity in A & B's defending their celibacy. As I poked the question to some other friends, they separate the 2 instances of sex to love-making and....well, fucking. So I guess they're seen as 2 different matters in the same act.... ironic? Oh well, some things I can understand, but can't accept. At least, if I don't understand something, I'll just be forced to accept it.

I'd like to say I don't differentiate the two (to clarify, I don't see the two as two different acts, but the same act, just that one is done in conjunction .... WTIH FEELING! :P But who knows? Maybe I'll fall into the social norm as well. Somebody shoot me. I'll pray you're Cupid. I'll go have a double cheeseburger now. That's a lot more acceptable.

Back, With a Vengeance

It's been a hell of a couple of months, but yes, I'm back. Hopefully for good, this time.

On the whole, I didn't miss the entire experience of giving up everything else in the name of possibly enhancing my career, but I am satisfied somewhat. I think I did okay. Not a guaranteed pass, but there's hope. My fingers are crossed.

What I did like about the experience is that huge wave of relief that rushes through you the moment the clock strikes off the last second of the period. It was the yearn for all that entertainment that kept me going. The friends, the gaming, the sports, the movies, and, oh, the porn. Sometimes I wonder if I picked the right line to work in. Scratch that, I always wonder. One day, when my duty and passion are one and the same, I'll be in peace.

Tomorrow's the Duanwu Festival aka Dragon Boat Festival aka Dumpling Festival. The last of the common names obviously applies the most to me. I'm no connoisseur but I do love my glutinous rice dumplings. There are many dumpling recipes in our big, multi-clan, Chinese food network. There's the yellow dumpling, which is dipped in alkaline water and savoured with sweet dips and sauces - my least favourite. There's the savoury type, sometimes differentiated by clan, or place, like the Hakka dumpling or Shanghainese dumpling. At this point, I went to wiki it. You should too. Looking at it makes me drool. I bought some for dinner, among other foods.

I went crazy with the food., as usual, because after my study binge, comes a food binge. Actually, after any binge, comes a food binge. Even after a food binge, another food binge can come. Sadly, there's a work binge tomorrow. Which means, there'll be another food binge!

Oh love. I'm even looking forward to the work tomorrow. Anything but studying. I'm done with academia for these few years of my life. Honestly.