Only Because We Want So Much

This weekend was much needed. Lots of quiet. I like it. That part of me hasn't changed.

But there's a lingering worry in my head. It's work, and because of all the rush, my quiet was briefly disturbed by a few relentless phone calls. I'm used to letting go of work for the weekend, so after the bugging, I put it away. Whomever said that work has to be a passion must be so lucky that their wants and needs coincide. Alas, it's not meant to be for the masses out there. Having said that, I still keep my ideals, and hopefully, nay, someday, I'll get to say it for myself, that my work is my passion.

People keep wanting, and they keep seeing and wanting even more. We were born and blessed with a seed of envy inside us, hence the saying: The grass is always greener on the other side; or, in Chinese: The moon in foreign land seems rounder. Every time a person strives and achieves for something, there's always something more. We'll never be happy this way. Maybe we're just happy to be unhappy, or to be wanting to be happy. The yearn drives us to work harder and harder until we can do no longer. Sounds depressing, doesn't it? Yet, knowing this somehow brings a sense of peace to me. There's a lot to be said, but ultimately it just takes away the worry. The worry about work, health, family, friends, life and death.

I think this state of mind is important, and hope that people share the same thoughts. Just live life the way you can, because the way you want will always be there.

Time to let it all go again and enjoy the quiet, till badminton at 4pm, that is. Then to clean my room for the Chinese New Year. Sundays like these are really beautiful.

It looks like I'm not reaching my Chinese New Year weight goal of 90kg. Still 2kg short. Shame. But I still have a week left. Maybe I'll go crazy and binge the 2kg away, which sounds like a bad idea.

Seeing is Believing

It's about 2 weeks since my last blog post.

Work is picking up, though I suspect it has never slowed down for the bosses. I just got a confirmation on a raise and bonus, though at what number, I don't know. Overall, I feel I've underachieved a bit. I'm doing alright, work wise, but I've yet to meet a specific learning target for myself. In hindsight, I've learned a great deal more on the side, so I'm still happy about it.

I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. No, I'm not going to die. I'm seeing the end to quite a few major milestones in my life. I should be passing my last level of the CFA examination. I should also be clearing off a few installment debts, and seeing the end of financing my brothers' studies. This would allow quite a bit of freedom for me to pursue other wants. Bring on the next milestone!

Of course, I've began to occupy a lot of my time with new plans and programs which have been quite regular. Jogging, working out (consistently, mind you), catching up with the market, and watching more movies, plus the occasional blog post. In the process, I've given up quite a bit of hanging out, TV and gaming, though they haven't completely left my time. Perhaps this is me growing up, seeing where I want to be, knowing how to get there, and believing that I will.

For the upcoming Chinese New Year, here's wishing everyone a thumping good year of the rabbit.

At this point, Daft Punk is still blazing in my stereo. It won't go away anytime soon. Not even with the new Britney number rocking the hit charts.

For the Moments. Those that were and those to come.

Since I was denied my sleep prior to midnight, I shall be posting this entry.

I was showering and preparing to continue watching the ending to Cinema Paradiso. It's such a nice movie that it doesn't occur to me that it is almost 3 hours long.

It's now the first hour of 2011. I don't have any new resolutions. I only wish to keep the resolve I've had for the past year.

Right now, it's like war outside, lots of pops and booms. I managed to hop outside with my brother for a moment to catch the last of the fireworks. The streetlights paled in comparison, and while we were half-heartedly admiring the light show, half a dozen of dogs were scurrying away from the fireworks, cowering from the sound. This reminds me of Fluffy. I still miss him.

We went back upstairs and I went to wish Ma and Pa a Happy New Year. I caught Pa snacking on prawn crackers, which he shouldn't be doing, but it's the New Year, and it's his life.

So I continued on with the movie, and that was followed by the end of this post.

I don't have anything I haven't already resolved to do, like I said earlier. But I do have my list of demands of life. The things that I don't believe are in my control.

Actually, I would really just like to fall in love, for once.

Or maybe it's just the movie talking right now.

Good night, folks, and Happy New Year.