Saturday, December 25, 2010

Growing Old, Growing Up, Growing Apart

I had an amazing year.

It started out with the beginning of a new job, which would be a stepping stone to another one within the same industry. I had the fortune of meeting so many new people and learned a great deal from them, and from many aspects too. I'm finally 25, and growing old has never meant so little to me.

This year would mark the first year I officially stepped into the world of corporate finance. Given the opportunity, I wish I could have done so earlier. I think I would've made it a lot further and happier today. I've made a few big mistakes here and there. Some were repercussions of my rash decisions and some were roads to hell paved with my misguided good intentions. I've tried to make amends, and hopefully no one holds a serious grudge against me. Still, it seems that growing up may have made me more myopic. I think for myself now more than ever, and give less regard for other opinions. Ironically, I've also read more and expanded my horizon, acknowledging more possibilities and understanding many new points of view. This has simply convinced me even more that I should stand my ground and hold my own every time I am challenged. So I've grown up a little, and sometimes I still wish I hadn't.

I feel like my thoughts are more composed this year. I'm not as scattered as I was a few years back, where I would just piece in whatever I can think of just to form a sentence. I also feel like I've cemented my character somewhat, and as a result, I've set myself in a direction with more certainty. I've set a few concrete goals, and I'm already halfway there in achieving some. But I've taken on too much and not giving myself enough time to keep up.

Many people seem to think that the more we grow up, the more the blacks and whites become gray. I think it's completely the opposite. I think people just lose themselves while growing up, because we were taught the blacks and whites , the rights and wrongs, and the do's and don'ts since we were young and they should have never left us. Because as we grow up, we learn more, and instead of letting our learning muddle and confuse our character, we should let it reinforce our hearts and minds. Saying "it's complicated" is just an excuse for being ignorant, indecisive, or weak.

On another note, as I venture further into the unfamiliar grounds of this world, I've left the roads I've trodden untouched, as many of us inevitably do while moving forward in life. For better or worse, it has happened. We've all grown apart, and as much as I still cherish and hold these bonds and banes (yes, they all matter) close to my heart, I've got to keep moving, and can only pray that these paths cross again.

This wrong mind thinks that the right heart it's stuck with, may not have been right after all

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Next 10 Years In Hindsight

A good friend posted something on Facebook, mentioning the end of the decade, and shot me back 10 years from today.

10 years ago, if memory serves me well, which it rarely does, it was the end of days of the PMR examinations, which could spell a few choice outcomes for not-so-typical teenage boys in a recession ridden family, like me. There would be: cost-free entertainment, wallowing in remorse for underpreparation, or just basking in the lull that was the school holidays. I chose the entertainment. There was Blackjack, Chess, Paper RPGs, Conquer, UNO and simply chatter. All this in the almost barren classrooms of the morning. This was because everyone was either out playing truant, or simply missing the days since attendance didn't matter anymore. I can still remember the cool air circulated by the fans and fellow classmates would just be going through the motions for the day. Some would be catching some extra winks, some had a good book to occupy them, and the rest, like me, just wanted to waste away.

Not too long from then, we would be getting counselling sessions and taking personality tests to profile us into who we are today. Though, the silly intellectuals that designed these tests made the dumbest assumption of all: That the rebellious teenagers taking the test would do so seriously. Perhaps the most open ended question of all during the time was the most popular one - How do you see your self X years from today? I'm pretty sure X was 10 or 5. But we were told to look as far into our crystal ball heads as we could.

I confess, 10 years ago, I didn't give a crap about 10 years later. I just wanted to get the test done and eat Ma's homemade Ham & Cheese sandwich during recess. At best, I thought that I'd be in a game developers' room or a programmer of sorts, because I was IT inclined at the time. Being a geek was easier and cheaper for me than...say, hanging out at Coffee Bean or going out to the mall/movies. Then again, I spent heaps on Pokemon too. I bet the 14 year old me would look at myself now and think... meh.

But enough about me. Let's talk about stuff that's more interesting.

Remember year 2000. Y2K. The hoax.

Remember KLCC and the skybridge that opened to the public then.

Remember Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon! Charlie's Angels! and the X-Men!

Remember the phenomenon that was Napster? or MSN? Which of them lasted? ;)

Remember the birth of the PlayStation 2? and Tekken that came with it? How about Pokemon Gold/Silver for you handheld fans?

PC games deserve a section of it's own.. Diablo II, Icewind Dale... and not forgetting, Counter Strike!

Oh and do you remember the rage that was Eminem? Britney? BSB? N'Sync? Madonna? Destiny's Child?And we're still singing along to them today!

So there, 10 years ago, that was life. The years in between got better, but this is about 10 years ago. What about you? What was your year 2000 like? I'm sure you remember more, and different. I just picked some of my fanciest memories. Some I know may remember which cars were out then... I think the Waja was one of them. Some may remember consumer prices and how they kept rising. Some had cellphones by then already, but I got mine later.

It feels good to reminisce, and now it feels strange that I can actually say '10 years ago...' without giggling thereafter.

Take it easy, y'all.